My Love Life is Like a Slow Jam CD

It had been an hour since school let out and I began walking in the
rain to the nearest pay phone to call a cab collect. My intentions were to
pay the cab once I arrived home, but he had my damn keys so there was
no way I could have gotten inside my home to grab my wallet to pay the
cabbie. This was what I feared, giving some guy the power to my life and
to my emotions. Ever since he drove off with my car earlier that evening
I've had the strangest feeling that was sweltering inside of me. It was like
my gut was telling me that it wasn't my best decision to let him take my
vehicle. I had looked back and thought 'what if he actually was on his
way', and 'what if I left too early and he doesn't see me at the bus stop'.
That would have made it my fault that I didn't get picked up. I hurried
back to the bus stop just in case he pulled up, but that didn't matter. I
ended up waiting at that bus stop for an hour more then I walked home
twelve miles. I should have realized that his sorry ass played me stupid
when he first was fifteen minutes late, but by then I was already
drenched in my own sorrows. Nevertheless, he and I were no longer
together and just like the New Edition song I questioned myself, 'Can
You Stand the Rain?'
Years ago I realized that every relationship has its favorite song.
There is also a song that develops near the end of the relationship when
the two parties can no longer deal with each other. I never have looked
forward to that second song, but I can honestly agree that there is always
a slow jam or a song that reminds us of the many things that we once
had. It can often be a song that reminds you of the relationship to a 'Tee'
or have that one verse that spells out the entire relationship in just a few
words. I can think of three examples that most people can relate to.
Remember that song Bug A Boo, by Destiny's Child? It's an anthem for
those who have had stalkers or have been completely aggravated by that
persistent person. For most of us it's not hot when someone is blowing
up our phone or leaving us messages, and then stops by. I'm also sure
that many of us have experienced that unconditional love that Alicia
Keys talked about in If I Ain't Got You. She says a whole hell of a lot in
the lyrics, "Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all if it
ain't you baby." Those lyrics are powerful, but I can imagine her being
with someone who is broke and lives with their momma. On the other
hand I can imagine her accepting collect calls from a correctional facility
or putting money on someone's commissary. Now, that's unconditional.
What about the lyrics in Musiq's Half Crazy? He says, "You use to
laugh, now you get mad. Damn, I just want my friend back." I can't help
but identify with the fact that most relationships start off all bliss where
both parties are on cloud nine or walking on egg shells. That is up until
the honeymoon period reaches its expiration date and both parties are
no longer hyped over each other. After that the laughing stops and the
crying starts.
I am not sure why we do this to ourselves, but we think it's cute to
choose 'our song' before a month has gone by. At the end of it all, we'll
listen to the song over and over until it saddens us. Everyone has done
this to themselves at least one time and I'm sure we all have our own
slow jam CD of our pains, sadness, and our happiness. This is the story
of my love life as a slow jam CD.